Sunday, March 8, 2020

Thoughts of the week, from the desk of Bitch

Thoughts of this week:


It's like the 80s are like really back.  


First of all, Genesis is reuniting AND Huey Lewis has a new album. My kids favorite musical groups...do the kids still call them groups? Bands? I mean they aren’t “bands”. They are auto-tune quasi talent with a lot of mixing.  Wait. Pass the Geritol! 


Anyway, my kids' music all sounds like things from the 80s.  I’ve identifed A-Ha, Beastie Boys, Sting, and some others in their music.


Other ways the 80s are back:  poofy sleeves denim, skinny jeans, high waisted jeans,  neon eye shadow, bigger eyebrows, lip lining. My son loves pastel colors and they are readily available.  I see big chunky earrings around. Wireless wifi speakers are the new boombox. Governments of the world are undergoing huge changes.  Scary health crises. Racism. Xenophobia. Prejudice. A wonky economy. Russia. 


I keep thinking the 80s were twenty years ago.  Um no. 40. Wtf is up with that? 



Corona virus is affecting everything from stocks to shit paper, hollywood, and booze.   

  • The James Bond movie was delayed for several months. 

  • People  are hoarding TP. not sure why exactly.   This picture from a Costco somewhere has a hilarious typo.  No TP for you for 23000 years, baby! 

  • Friends are also saying they’re stockpiling vodka. For drinking or sanitizing, I’m not sure. But I feel an instacart order comin on!


Speaking of drinking...

  • Corona beer needs your love.   Drink a corona - its good for the economy, it goes great with tacos (and tacos are proven to be good for your soul), and it improves your dance skills. 

Seriously, our fellow humans are confused. 38 percent of  poll respondents said that “would not buy Corona under any circumstances now”; 4 percent of respondents who usually drink Corona said they would stop drinking; 16 percent of respondents “were confused about whether Corona beer is related to the coronavirus.”   (head desk)


  • Italy following Japan’s lead and closing all schools.  Dude.  I would NOT be surprised if this trend, once our government, who has learned NOTHING from watching governments handle this terribly in the East, stops lying to us (this is the worst sentence EVER), continues here.  And it will be a mess! There is already a childcare shortage! The US will be a shit show if schools get closed. And I’m not fear mongering, I’m speaking as a parent. I mean, we CAN survive this virus (80% of people who become infected will only become mildly to moderately ill) but I’m not sure if we can survive ALL  STUDENTS home for a month like an extra Spring Break...Oh, spring break...that’ll be fun eh.  


  • No one agrees on anything. Hand sanitizer, masks, politics, the Democratic party’s strategy, wtf is in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction?  Are polar bear’s numbers up or down? Are you supposed to eat 20 small meals a day, or fast for 10 hours a day? At what age must one (hypothetically) stop wearing shimmery eye shadow? Should we drink vodka or beer?  I don’t know. No one knows! But here’s what I can tell you with a fair amount of confidence for success in life right now: Wash your hands and stop touching your face. Notice how many times a day you touch your face...you’ll be horrified and put baby mitts on your hands! 



Astrology this week

  • There’s a full moon in Virgo on Monday. I am hoping this shines some light on the coronavirus in some way and brings helpful information forward.  Possibly a new pocket of outbreak (beyond the daily news we already hear) will come to light. Pay attention between March 8-11ish

  • For us personally, we can utilize this moon for healing, not just our bodies, but our routine. Take some time Sunday, or any day around that moon, and think about your daily ritual. What could you tweak, eliminate, shift? Clean it up and declutter your day to day activities. Don’t add anything yet. Just clean.  Really meditate on what kind of routine would make you feel great and do what you can to move in that direction.  

    Furthermore, release what holds you back from achieving your higher purposes. What restrains your inner goddess? You may not consciously know what those things are. But the moon sees it and can shed light for you.

  • Also on March 9th, Mercury stations direct.  This makes things very wonky on the day of station. But after that, again being a pragmatic optimist, perhaps  institutions can be bolstered to deal better with Covid-19

  • I have good reason for optimism, because the sun sextiles Jupiter, which brings optimism. Neptune sextiles Mars, which is sexy and romantic (But wash your hands! Don’t kiss strangers!). But then, Pluto and the sun sextile (lots of sextiles!) which is a very determined energy.  So I hope that the PTB (powers that be) don’t flex too much about how “everything is fine. Its great. Its all very good. Just like a miracle, everything is great” etc, just as a way of pushing through propagandic thinking. Propagandic...is that a word??? Did I make that up?

  • it is a word! 


Cards of the Week


Sweary Spirituality I, Sweary Spirituality II, Traditional Tarot





It’s no coincidence that this week with a full moon in Virgo, asking you to release habits holding back the emergence of your inner Goddess, we also have International Women’s Day, during women’s history month, ending with Friday the 13th.  

This is badass...

13 is the goddess number, and represents the 13 lunar cycles in a year.  Friday is ruled by the goddess Freya, and Venus. This is not an unlucky day! This is a powerful day to feel into your witchy, goddess, badass bitch roots.  


These cards all point to release too just like the Monday moon (and mercury retrograde for that matter). Release your shame. Release your story so a new one can form.  Release yourself from the box you climbed in at the request of others.  Release yourself from the obligations others have imposed upon you. The hanged man is about surrender and suspension, metamorphosis, and the breaking of old patterns.  


Step in to who you truly are, and let go of what others have told you about yourself, or the story you cling to to avoid feeling unsafe.  


Have a badass week


In Love & Glitter,

Kelly

President & CEO of BitchCo.
Parent company of BitchSplaining, AmBitchous, BitchScopes
Blanket Fort, CA






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