Thursday, February 20, 2020

Mercury retrograde in pisces and other funny stories

Mercury retrograde in pisces and other funny stories

So, Mercury has been retrograde for about a week now. There’s always a lot of hype about this, and a lot of fear mongering. I try to maintain a positive attitude about it. Sometimes that works out great, sometimes it bites me in the spiritual ass. Generally speaking, worrying about this particular transit (or any of them) doesn’t do shit for you. Because inevitably, what pops us is generally unseen stuff that we swept into the back of the closet.  If you’re very aware, you can sometimes see hints of what’s to come in the couple-ish weeks leading up to it. But even being tuned in, I often get surprised.  

So far, here’s Mercury retrograde in my world 
  • Carpet installation at work went very wrong. Not my doing.  It has to be re-done. This is both funny and awful because it’s inconvenient, causes a loss of productivity, and the smell is horrendous. Actually it’s mostly not at all funny.
  • Also at work, they are power washing the roof. This has gone on for DAYS - nearly a week now. And it sounds like a padded jackhammer...all.day.long.
  • My fish got sick. I obsessed. I researched.  I took action. He is healed. Happiest fish ever now.  A victory!
  • I got a wild hair that I wanted a bidet.  There’s so many Pisces and retrograde jokes in here I just can’t even.  So I bought a Bidet. And a squatty potty. 
  • I went to install the bidet (“easy 15 min installation. Life changing!” Said the Amazon reviewers) and my flexible pipe on my toilet cracked. Uh, that’s a problem.  I’m leaving out the tremendous amount of swearing and crying I did trying to get this thing to work before the pipe cracked. My son was helping me. Both children were terrified. 
  • So had to call a plumber. It’s fixed. The bidet is in the box, in the back of my closet. Literally.  
  • My son got braces (invisalign, actually).  Nothing to note here, its just a big life event for him. A lot of spit was involved, which I guess could be Piscean…
  • During my radio show, the kids came in (which is a no-no) frantically waving arms and doing wide eyed charades.  The shower would not turn off. At all. Running (out of the bath spout) at full tilt. I made panicked gestures back to them and flailed an arm in the general direction of my toolbox.
  • They got it fixed by themselves. Another victory.  Bad news is the handle is broken. So I get to try to fix that. Pray for me.
  • Shortly after the shower crisis, my son said he can’t get his aligners off his teeth in order to eat.  He, being 16 and half Nicaraguan, half me, swore almost as much as I did with the toilet. Ok no, not THAT much.  So I had to lay him down and do mom-surgery with dental tools...because moms have these things. Took a lot but we got it off. He did not starve to death. Another victory. 
  • My co-worker just told me this story:  Her teenage son needed an allergy pill. So Grandma directs him to her room and tells him exactly where they are and what they’re called.  He grabs something and takes it. Unbeknowst to him, he took 2 laxatives. I laughed so hard at this story. I said “well when his allergies make him sneeze, things could get ugly tomorrow at school!”  #dead. 



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