Sunday, February 23, 2020

Piscean dream life

As I’ve shared many times, my dream recall is low. And I prefer it that way. 
The last week I’ve had many dreams. The only change is mercury rx in pisces. I haven’t changed any of my routine, eating, meds etc. 
first dream I  recall was early this week...

Nicholas cage was in a restaurant, at a buffet.  I was passing by and he was struggling with plates so I helped him.  But as I was holding this plate he started examining the sandwich on it.  It was held close to my body because I was holding other things too. He squinted and asked  “what is that between the lettuce and turkey??”
“Um, my cleavage”
“Oh haha I’m so sorry.  I meant the aioli.  Which is now also on your...um”
I looked down to find pesto aioli on my shirt.  We laughed. He thanked me and apologized and that was that 

Another night:
Dreamed my car and my purse got stolen.  I’d left the keys in my purse, in the car. But without my phone I couldn’t contact anyone. I was despondent.  I ended up in a city I didn’t know in a stranger’s house.  Patrick was mad at me.  But at some point there was sex In this dream and I was worried because I hadn’t shaved.  

Last night: 
I dreamed there was one of those giant flying fox bat creatures in my backyard.  Someone from Star Wars (I have been watching Mandalorian) was with us, and said “there’s a bat coming.  Look”. And at that moment the flying fox landed on the fence. We were completely enamored of this thing.  It let us hold it.  It had very cute paws and in the dream I kept saying it looked like “Dobby the elf” feet.  (I have not watched Harry Potter recently...)  we ooh’d and Coo’d over this animal and that was it.  


Friday, February 21, 2020

A bitch overhears a lot at lunch.

So my love, who works on the other side of the world, took me to virtual lunch.  I ordered my favorite thing- chicken Marsala.  This comes with red mashed potatoes, the perfect amount of gravy, and these green beans to DIE FOR. 

While I was enjoying my meal it came to my attention that someone in the dining room has one of THOSE voices.  My god she’s a megaphone.  Her laugh cuts through all other noise and their group conversation is loud enough for me to hear every part.  Really it’s not the group, it’s just her. 

That’s annoying enough. But she was loud talking about gastric surgery and weight loss.  The side effects of such surgeries and the detrimental effects on nutrient absorption.  I was happy she was speaking correct facts but holy shit she was loud! Going on at length about gastric bypass and losing weight and mind games you play to modify eating behavior. Nothing was gross, but it did seem inappropriate lunch conversation.  

An older couple, probably in their 80s, is near me.  They’re speaking quietly and drinking white wine.  I noticed the woman looking rather judgily in the direction of the loud diet talker.  I couldn’t have agreed more.  She was bothered. The gentleman eating alone next to them also seemed to notice.  The waitress seemed to notice. 

Finally someone at her table says jokingly “maybe this isn’t a great lunch conversation ahahaha”   Raucous laughter.  Then conversation continued about carbs and weight watchers and somehow it mercifully shifted to dogs. 
Then she booms “and I knew she needed to go potty” (I wish font could convey volume...) 

Good grief woman.  Just shut the fuck up.  

First of all be whoever you are.  Talk about what you want.  But do it with some class, timing, decorum.  

The thing that bothered me most though was that here we are in this amazing restaurant and this is their conversation choice? To impose upon us all?  Argh!  

I respect entirely that people struggle with food and body image and diet culture.  But my god.  Maybe if we could just let ourselves exist outside the ever changing societal expectations of what our bodies should look like we would struggle less!!!  

As I write she’s talking about molly, who is a lesbian (loud font).   I think I’d better exit before my facial expressions betray me 

Thursday, February 20, 2020

Mercury retrograde in pisces and other funny stories

Mercury retrograde in pisces and other funny stories

So, Mercury has been retrograde for about a week now. There’s always a lot of hype about this, and a lot of fear mongering. I try to maintain a positive attitude about it. Sometimes that works out great, sometimes it bites me in the spiritual ass. Generally speaking, worrying about this particular transit (or any of them) doesn’t do shit for you. Because inevitably, what pops us is generally unseen stuff that we swept into the back of the closet.  If you’re very aware, you can sometimes see hints of what’s to come in the couple-ish weeks leading up to it. But even being tuned in, I often get surprised.  

So far, here’s Mercury retrograde in my world 
  • Carpet installation at work went very wrong. Not my doing.  It has to be re-done. This is both funny and awful because it’s inconvenient, causes a loss of productivity, and the smell is horrendous. Actually it’s mostly not at all funny.
  • Also at work, they are power washing the roof. This has gone on for DAYS - nearly a week now. And it sounds like a padded jackhammer...all.day.long.
  • My fish got sick. I obsessed. I researched.  I took action. He is healed. Happiest fish ever now.  A victory!
  • I got a wild hair that I wanted a bidet.  There’s so many Pisces and retrograde jokes in here I just can’t even.  So I bought a Bidet. And a squatty potty. 
  • I went to install the bidet (“easy 15 min installation. Life changing!” Said the Amazon reviewers) and my flexible pipe on my toilet cracked. Uh, that’s a problem.  I’m leaving out the tremendous amount of swearing and crying I did trying to get this thing to work before the pipe cracked. My son was helping me. Both children were terrified. 
  • So had to call a plumber. It’s fixed. The bidet is in the box, in the back of my closet. Literally.  
  • My son got braces (invisalign, actually).  Nothing to note here, its just a big life event for him. A lot of spit was involved, which I guess could be Piscean…
  • During my radio show, the kids came in (which is a no-no) frantically waving arms and doing wide eyed charades.  The shower would not turn off. At all. Running (out of the bath spout) at full tilt. I made panicked gestures back to them and flailed an arm in the general direction of my toolbox.
  • They got it fixed by themselves. Another victory.  Bad news is the handle is broken. So I get to try to fix that. Pray for me.
  • Shortly after the shower crisis, my son said he can’t get his aligners off his teeth in order to eat.  He, being 16 and half Nicaraguan, half me, swore almost as much as I did with the toilet. Ok no, not THAT much.  So I had to lay him down and do mom-surgery with dental tools...because moms have these things. Took a lot but we got it off. He did not starve to death. Another victory. 
  • My co-worker just told me this story:  Her teenage son needed an allergy pill. So Grandma directs him to her room and tells him exactly where they are and what they’re called.  He grabs something and takes it. Unbeknowst to him, he took 2 laxatives. I laughed so hard at this story. I said “well when his allergies make him sneeze, things could get ugly tomorrow at school!”  #dead. 



Tuesday, February 18, 2020

The dirtiest word- socialism



Socialism. Can you say it? Can you say it without sneering? Can you say it without automatically associating it directly with communism?  

How bout this. Can you say: Denmark, Sweden, France, Germany, Netherlands, 

How bout, can you say Social Security? Medicare? Fire Department? Police Department?

It’s really not that scary, y’all.  Things are not black and white. You can be sweary and spiritual. You can be healthy and fat.  You can be a man and like men, you can be a man who identifies as a woman who likes either or both.  You can be a socialist country that is also a democracy or a democratic country that incorporates socialism...like...we already do.