Monday, March 30, 2020

It ain’t easy, being mean

Moment of honesty and transparency, guys?

 Sometimes I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing in the Spiritual community.  I look around and feel like such an asshole because I see a lot of what I consider be to be bullshit that’s  being peddled as THE EASY ANSWER. 3 ways to manifest, 10 ways to heal, the one thing you’ve been missing, 8 steps to financial perfection, 45 steps to the body you love, the one true path of happiness, the 5 steps to everything you ever wanted. Um well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but, maybe you didn’t read the contract for being human.  

Article 409, paragraph 3.1.z.a, line 9,854:  Life as a human is usually hard. 


The inner dialogue I have with myself in these moments of frustration are complex, and confusing.  For your enlightenment, I shall now compare my inner world to that of Seinfeld…

 It starts with all  my Capricorn, which I think is Jerry.  My Mercury in Cap, which longs for proper information, logic, reason, accountability, and practicality.  I use humor to convey truth. My Mars in Sagittarius in the 6th house gets pissed (Elaine) and wants to make it right, because people neeeeeed to be informed and protected, Jerry.  Then my 8th house Aquarius slides in like Kramer and goes “Well let’s fuck this up then!”   But then my Pisces midheaven, George, is paranoid and undecided and is afraid of pissing people off.  Mostly then it boils down to Jerry and Kramer, looking at each other going “Well Idanno, should we?” “Idanno Jerry, but what choice do we have?!” (with a crazy hair floop thrown in there).

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this but I think you’re right, Kramer”

 So here we are.

I will tell you plainly I sometimes wonder if anyone cares what I have to say.  But my 3rd house moon compels me to say it, regardless. 

 I was listening to a podcast this morning with 2 very well known astrologers, who were talking about, of course, Covid.  First of all, it bugs me that it is constantly referred to as “corona virus”. There are many corona viruses. This one is new, and has a new name: Covid-19.  Its official name is “SARS-CoV-2” (Severe acute respiratory syndrome).  But I digress.  (It won’t be the last time…)

 So they were discussing how people can cope with the isolation and all the issues coming up from quarantine and stay at home mandates.  He went on to say that if we don’t give in to fear, we don’t have to experience this in a fearful way. And that we can protect and heal ourselves. AND that this is “one of the weaker viruses we’ve had”.  Those things are all true up to a point. We don’t have to marinade in the drama and trauma and fear and panic. We can remain level headed but still grounded in reality. We can protect and heal ourselves – in part by avoiding crowds and practicing good hygiene. Also by reducing the stress you can control, eating healthy, etc.  We can visualize ourselves in good health, and healed. We can hold the belief that we are whole and healthy and strong. Those are all essential mindsets that I truly believe in. I also believe that essential oils can help the body and/or spirit in some ways. I believe in Reiki, and pretty much all forms of energetic connection and healing.  However…to make statements like “giving in to fear is the reason we experience this”, and that this is a weak virus…is not only dangerous, but also inaccurate and irresponsible. 

 I have been going on about this since January on BitchSplaining, trying to provide scientific facts in the face of a lot of misinformation, whether anyone hears me or not... The virus itself is not as contagious as say, measles, not as deadly as Ebola.  But to call it weak just perpetuates behavior that flies in the face of good common sense right now. There are plenty of people who think this is hogwash, and an over reaction, STILL. Despite famous doctors and surgeons and many medical people themselves dying. It causes very severe pneumonia in the most serious cases (and no I don’t think it was here in the states late last year. Why? Because we didn’t see all these pneumonia cases then. But whatever) The truth is, this particular virus is quite easily transmitted – perhaps moreso than the flu.  But, if I hear one person compare this to a flu, I might implode. I guess You do you- Call it the flu. (I rhyme even when irritated.)

So my problem with this, and sooooo many other spiritual teachings, is that it's rather escapist.  What I’m about to say may not be popular with many people…what’s new. Look at the name of my branding…

I thought the spiritual community was different than the religious community and was a little more accepting of science (I’ve never understood why Science and God by any name needed to be mutually exclusive!).  But I was wrong. The “spritual” community has become, in many ways, all the things it sought to escape in religion. There’s a big tendency in spirituality and ironically, humanism, to transcend the human experience in order to become enlightened, or one with God, or more than human.  This is taught in so many ways, from meditation, to prosperity gospel, to manifesting, to yoga (done wrong). We don’t need to do anything to connect with God. God is in us, around us, the fabric of us. We don’t need to meditate to find Her. What meditation should do, rather than help you escape your body, is connect you to it, and to your self.  Going within and being quiet should facilitate conversation with your own voice that gets drown out in the buzz of life. What yoga should do, is put you IN your body, to appreciate it, challenge it, breathe in to it. What prayer should do is connect you to compassion and vulnerability. What prosperity preachers should be teaching, rather than “you can have it all if you just do this simple thing”, is “you are worthy of everything you desire. Let’s be willing to uncover (and heal) the wounds that hold us back”.  THAT work is not simple.

 You know what else isn’t simple, or easy? Humaning!  Jesus, himself a human, experienced the pain of being human. How much more connected to God must One be? Do we not think Mother Teresa wanted to transcend the suffering of Earth? Or Jane Goodall, or Mr. Rogers? These are all amazing, compassionate humans and they still suffered the difficulties of life on Earth.  

I believe I incarnated with specific purposes in this life. Those aren’t necessarily big secrets or something I need to search the depths for.  Mostly, I feel, it’s right here on the surface. My calling is who I am. More on that another time. I believe I came to Earth as a human to connect with and impact and affect other humans for our mutual growth.  I didn’t incarnate as a cat or llama (something I regularly question), or remain in spirit form, free of the annoying boundaries of flesh and physics, to float around unseen and subtly assist the flailing humans. No. I chose to BE a fucking flailing human, because that’s the best way to get done what I wanted to get done, or what God and I decided I needed to get done...whatever the case.

Are there ways we make our suffering far more than it has to be? Absolutely! We are all our own worst enemy, individually and collectively.  I advocate all the ways possible to have peace and love and joy. I personally don’t feel that getting out of your body is the answer. This annoying flesh suit is the requirement for Earth.  Trying to get out of it, rise above it, deny it, etc. just creates more struggle and disconnect. We hate our bodies! How then can we possibly embrace the task of being human? 

So, there’s a thick fog of denial over many of us.  We are all dealing with this differently, but at the core of it,  it is GRIEF. We are grieving our normal, our “used to be”, our freedom, our vacations, our kids’ educations, our graduations and ceremonies, our incomes, our jobs, and death itself. Grief is like the color black that represents it - it contains all the emotions of the spectrum. Denial is part of that, as is anger, sadness, acceptance...you know the drill.  So while collective denial is “natural” in this unique scenario, it can be a dangerous thing to perpetuate. When a patient is dying, a doctor can not join a family member in denial... 

So for those of you who are a little more solid in your footing in this, hold the line.  Remain steady with your feet on the ground, your connection to your body whole, and your oneness with God unchanged.   For those of you who are terrified, it is OK to feel that way. We are moving through unknown waters. There is no shame in accepting facts, figures, statistics, and science.  But you also don’t need to be paralyzed by them. Balance! We are such black and white thinkers, we humans. Like we must be living OR dying. We must be sick or healthy. We must be male or female. We must be rich or poor. We must believe or not believe.  We must be beautiful or ugly. Why do we live in the extremes? We are neither powerless, nor all powerful. In the middle, the beautiful gray, there is so much untapped experience for us.  

We are bound by the laws of Earthly existence.  We have potential far beyond what we usually exercise, but still have limits.  We can heal and protect our bodies, but not while we hate them while pretending to love them.  We have to get IN them. And we have to get in reality. Yes, Virginia, there IS a reality. You are allowed to represent something alternative, but you still have to operate within it.  You can create a new reality for yourself, but within the boundaries of your body, soul, and contracts. You can love the vehicle your body is, and not consider it perfect, or finished, or even OK.  You can love something but not like it very much (ever had a spouse, or a toddler?). You can be grateful and still experience fear and anger and pain.  

You can experience this pandemic with fear, and with hope, with gratitude and with paranoia. You can believe science and facts and still not feel fearful. These things we ARE in control of.  But we make the choices so much harder than they need to be. 

So honestly, this blathering soul vomit I’ve just done into my keyboard may resonate with absolutely no one.  And there are many days I think “well maybe I’ll just shut UP!” (said like Elaine). But I’m tired of being apologetic and careful when no one else seems to be. Who made me the guardian of people’s feelings? Me? Well I’m fired. I’m sick of worrying about if anyone is listening or if they agree. I am a preacher of authenticity, but you guys, I hold back so much.  And I don’t know why. Or if I can anymore. So maybe that’s a warning, maybe that’s a threat, maybe that’s a teaser for a docu-series movie about me, or a show about everything and nothing...




 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Sunday, March 29, 2020

Grieving and dreaming

Bitch memo for the week of 4/1-4/7

I’m noticing that it’s not just me that is sad.  We all seem to be. And a lot of people are bored (which is just frustration really) and some people are sick of themselves.  Our busy lives create lots of ways for us to avoid uncomfortable feelings and memories. Ultimately though, if you zoom out to the bigger picture- we are all grieving.  Fear, anger, denial... all of that on a massive scale all over the world. We ARE all connected. The thing is we’ve also started to realize how much we affect and need each other. We’ve started to realize how much we affect our environments, big and small.  And I truly hope and pray that those things will stick with us when we come out of this. In the meantime, we just grieve together. I love every one of you (even though I have never wanted to be in any grocery store with any of you and you’re all cramping my grocery delivery buzz.) let’s keep circulating love- it’s sterile, healing, free, and it’s what we all come from. 💜


This week is for daydreaming and connecting deeply with yourself and those closest to you.  Vulnerability will propel you into deeper intimacy. Jupiter conjunct pluto will give your ambition a boost of luck.  Be intentional with your thoughts this week. 


I would say let’s exercise our minds this week.  Whether it’s imagination or intellectual stretching, putting together the airy energy with fire this week will allow some productivity to flow.  Brainstorm. Write. Dream. Share.  



Sunday, March 22, 2020

Synergy and self soothing

Well, here we are.  I do feel we are starting to settle down. I’ve seen posts about toilet paper in stores for a bit more than a fleeting second, as well as ramen. Who would have ever thunk that the litmus test for the quality of the American life would be TP and ramen.  Uranus in Taurus is shifting our perspectives around material goods and money. 

A “recovery payment” stimulus bill is in the works, which proposes cash in the hands of most Americans in a short time. As I write this on Friday, I am looking at the transits.  March 22 has Mercury sextile Uranus (last week I called it “stimulating” news). The senate votes on Sunday on the details of the payments. Monday we have Mars conjunct Pluto, which indicates power, determination and ambition. As I type this, parties are debating how much is enough, what is the best way to do it, and is the plan serving the people who need it most.  Something will be pushed through, and probably annouced shortly after. By the time I post this, it may be old news. 

Tuesday gives us a New Moon in Aries, which feels hopeful to me. Set those intentions. Have a ceremony.  Seriously...what else are you doing?!  

 This week Mars and Venus are both active as well, making me feel that there’s symbiosis in the works.  Humans may be working together better, as well as agencies and communities. Anywhere there is a Mars and Venus archetype, there could be a good flow.

Mars then enters Aquarius and conjuncts Saturn, which should end the month with a zap of Aquarian elements: humanitarianism, justice, technology, and big ideas.  

So there’s reason to be hopeful.  

Are you coming out of your skin and feeling anxious and generally shitty? Well come sit down with me, virtually, and let’s self soothe.  I created a little meditation for you to feel comforted and embraced at a time when we all need that. Its a hug from me to you, and you to yourself. 





Monday, March 16, 2020

Viral Compassion




I have to say, I friggin love how clear these cards are for this week: 

Cards of the week:

Sweary Spirituality I:  Spirituality should support you like a comfy bra, NOT ride up your ass like a thong.

Sweary Spirituality II:  Fear depresses and represses everything... breathing, growth, evolution, orgasm...fuck fear.

Traditional Tarot:  Eight of Swords - WHOA.  this card is literally about "self imposed isolation". uh...wow.   The wisdom of this card is about using your mind, your intellect to break through negative thinking and stuck situations.  


***************************************

Earlier in the week Elizabeth Gilbert posted this:

“Overreacting about people who are overreacting is just another form of over reacting.”

Also, over reacting is pretty understandable right now. Everything is a bit upside down. Give yourself and those around you some grace as we navigate this craziness.

Compassion is what we are, as usual, lacking here. Yeah people are freaking out. Instead of berating people, try meeting people where they are. That happens with conversations that includes commas, pauses, ellipses and question marks. Fewer periods and exclamation points. That includes being interested and curious yourself, instead of assuming you know everything, or that you know better. when people post or say things that seem like bad information, perhaps ask a question like “Oh. I thought it was 3%. Maybe I read it wrong. Where did you hear that?”

And when they say “Aunt Bessie who works at the news station” maybe say “Ah. Well I might have to get back on the CDC or WHO website and see what the scoop is. But regardless, it is all pretty unnerving, eh?”

Meeting people where they are, versus trying to bring someone to where you are, is the best way to have conversations. I learned this in hospice. When you are dealing with a person with any kind of dementia, it is generally not best practice to try to convince them that their present reality is false...


 So George thinks he’s on a cruise ship in post war France, with Marilyn Monroe. Instead of saying “No George. You’re in the nursing home. I’m not Marilyn Monroe”, it is much less upsetting to just join them in their reality. 

 “Oh, yeah, do you like your ship cabin, George?” 
“Oh yes, its very nice” 
“Is Marilyn in a cabin with you?” 
“Oh. Aren’t you Marilyn” 
“Oh gosh no, sorry” 
“Oh pardon me. Who are you?”
“I’m Kelly. I thought I might sit with you while you eat if you don’t mind.”
 “I thought I was having dinner with the Captain?” 
“Oh. I can check. But he may be busy at the moment. Why don’t you get started eating and I’ll see what I can find out…” 
“OK.”

I have seen this scenario play out the other way and George ends up getting very upset and belligerent.

I’m not advocating that we allow people to live in a misinformed reality when they are not afflicted with a memory disorder. I’m suggesting we approach all of this with a little more compassion. “Yeah mom, I know you’re worried. I think you’re gonna be ok. I’ll help you run errands or we’ll have things delivered, ok? I mean, you should stop licking doorknobs probably…” Because humor is good medicine too.

I told my kids “I think it’s going to be ok. But you know, don’t lick your friends…” “Mommmmm!” “Ok well don’t share food and drinks. Don’t touch your face without washing your hands. Pay attention to how much you touch your face. And stop it. Wash your hands a LOT. And don’t lick your friends is still solid advice” “mom you’re so weird”.

There is a lot that isn’t known right now, about Corona Virus, how it spreads, how long it lives on surfaces, how it behaves in different temperatures. Its NEW. Humanity has not had this before. We have no herd immunity, no vaccine, no antivirals. So we are all on this learning curve together. What may seem like over-reaction from agencies is because so little Is known about this virus. So let’s just do our best. We can do better than we are right now. Our water system is not in danger so stocking up on water seems a stretch. You won’t shit yourself to death so TP stocking seems unnecessary. If restrictions are imposed like they are in other countries, we are still going to be ok. Be prepared but be rational about it.


Be informed. Be hygienic. Be kind.

 Last week I said to watch for an announcement or insight between 3/8 and 3/11  And what night did Trump address us about the travel restrictions? 3/11. I just had to throw that in. Trump has Virgo in his 1st house, so he’s either had his mind changed, or he’s changing his approach to this in the world (1st house stuff).  That moon opposed his 7th house of partnerships…all kinds of partnerships.  Voila.  

So what’s in store this week? 



March 16- 23

OK well, here we are. We have no toilet paper, or cat litter, or good sense. But here we are, together. We’re going to get through this covid-19 craziness together. In Italy people are in total lockdown, but they are singing to each other across balconies and alleyways. Here, we are just hoarding groceries and sort of freaking out about school closures. Which is a very valid freak out, honestly. Many kids and families depend on schools for more than just education. But it is what it is. And here’s the thing, we’re about to break through. Like we always do, we will unite and shine our lights for each other. It’s coming.

Last week I said there would be some kind of enlightening info between 3/8 - 3/11. On 3/11 Trump made a somewhat lackluster and confusing speech from the Oval office. We are still in the shadow of Mercury retrograde and while it may have created more confusion than clarity, that address is a good step forward in acknowledging some truth of this virus mess. There is a long way to go to get our shit together. That may not be too hard when there is no toilet paper anywhere in the country. I kid. But anyway...this coming week has some really positive indications for progress.

Some of the more thought oriented transits are:

Mercury in Pisces (3/16) bodes well for creative thinking. And on 3/22 Mercury sextiles Uranus, which could be “stimulating” news. I’m not wanting to use the word “exciting” because I think we’ve had enough excitement for awhile. I doubt we are done with it, but I’m intending for myself and you that this be stimulating in the way of ideas and solutions. Also on 3/22 Venus sextiles Neptune, which is a nurturing vibe. Let’s channel that and put that to use in our communities now!

And then the astro power plays this week look like this: Sun sextile Saturn (3/19) will give us perseverance, as will the Sun entering Aries that same day. 3/20 Mars conjuncts Jupiter, giving us power & strength to initiate new projects. On Monday 3/23 Mars conjuncts Pluto. This power pair could give us the collective UMPH we need to master these crises.

My favorite thing this week is Saturn entering Aquarius! Saturn in Capricorn has been intense. Saturn is home in Capricorn, but it co-rules Aquarius. Capricorn is earth - mountains, rocks, soil, groundedness, practicality, nose to the grindstone Aquarius is all about AIR, and the difference between Saturn in Cap vs. Aquarius is like walking on earth, vs walking on the moon. So this expression of Saturn is quite different! And thanks Goddess! This transit will focus on structures, agencies, boundaries needed to connect to others, technology, information, invention, progress and justice. Um, yes please!

Let’s continue to laugh at what we can (always punch up, not down!), help each other, remain generous, and hopeful. 


In Love & Glitter,

Kelly

President & CEO of BitchCo.

Parent company of BitchSplaining, AmBitchous, BitchScopes
Blanket Fort, CA




Weekly Scopes by Sign

ARIES - Frustrated though you may be, try to focus on the things that are going right in your life. I’m not saying you have to be 100% positive Pollyanna or “it could always be worse” because I would punch myself in the face for saying that. But I am saying try to shift your perspective to what is just straight up working. Even if it’s small things. Its a good week to beautify your surroundings (as well as your thoughts).

TAURUS - Give yourself credit and stop comparing your stuff to other people’s stuff. You are talented and worthy, period. A nagging old wound may start to close up for you now. This may catch you off guard, but don’t pick at it just because you suddenly realized it doesn’t itch!

GEMINI - You may find yourself in high demand this week, and people may be drawn to your light and buoyancy. Give your time to something meaningful if that is an option. Be aware of possible power struggles, and stand your ground serenely.

CANCER - Is someone around you particularly needy? Well, as deft as you are at making such people think that handling their own shit is their idea, you may need a new tactic. You may have to just outright say no to something, which is unusual for you. People know you are generous and tend to hang their bucket under your faucet. So just say no if you’re feeling it, and do it without apology.

LEO - you may be ready to scratch the itch you have had for awhile, and put yourself out there in some way. Don’t allow other people’s bitterness to tame your ferocity. We need you to be ferocious right now.

VIRGO - a partnership you’re considering is worth considering further. Dive deeper and explore the pragmatic aspects before you commit. Don’t get lost in concern about how you’ll be perceived.

LIBRA - stabs your ground, even in the face of uncomfortable conflict. There’s an opportunity to ditch some bad habits this week- habits that come from acquiescing too much.

SCORPIO - there may be a conversation brewing that you aren’t looking forward to, but you can’t avoid anymore. You may be pleasantly surprised to find you agree in ways you weren’t aware of.

SAGITTARIUS - you may be finding yourself in some way right now. New ideas and ways to approach things will be available to you now. It’s ok to trust all parts of this, particularly yourself.

CAPRICORN - you may be feeling a bit misunderstood this week, which is usually left to Aquarians, but whatever. Do what you can to clarify and clear up confusion. But don’t bend over backwards to make people understand. Not everyone will get it, and there’s a reason for that.

AQUARIUS - Your routine may get a positive wrench tossed into it this week, OR you may be a little bit of a wrench in someone else’s plans. If the latter is the case, then trust that they needed to be a little shaken out of their bullshit.

PISCES - this week, something you’ve wanted to do for a long time may creep back on to your actual to-do list. But you may have to take a good look at yourself and you won’t enjoy that process. It’s ok. Do it anyway. You’re healing and this is progress.


Sunday, March 8, 2020

Thoughts of the week, from the desk of Bitch

Thoughts of this week:


It's like the 80s are like really back.  


First of all, Genesis is reuniting AND Huey Lewis has a new album. My kids favorite musical groups...do the kids still call them groups? Bands? I mean they aren’t “bands”. They are auto-tune quasi talent with a lot of mixing.  Wait. Pass the Geritol! 


Anyway, my kids' music all sounds like things from the 80s.  I’ve identifed A-Ha, Beastie Boys, Sting, and some others in their music.


Other ways the 80s are back:  poofy sleeves denim, skinny jeans, high waisted jeans,  neon eye shadow, bigger eyebrows, lip lining. My son loves pastel colors and they are readily available.  I see big chunky earrings around. Wireless wifi speakers are the new boombox. Governments of the world are undergoing huge changes.  Scary health crises. Racism. Xenophobia. Prejudice. A wonky economy. Russia. 


I keep thinking the 80s were twenty years ago.  Um no. 40. Wtf is up with that? 



Corona virus is affecting everything from stocks to shit paper, hollywood, and booze.   

  • The James Bond movie was delayed for several months. 

  • People  are hoarding TP. not sure why exactly.   This picture from a Costco somewhere has a hilarious typo.  No TP for you for 23000 years, baby! 

  • Friends are also saying they’re stockpiling vodka. For drinking or sanitizing, I’m not sure. But I feel an instacart order comin on!


Speaking of drinking...

  • Corona beer needs your love.   Drink a corona - its good for the economy, it goes great with tacos (and tacos are proven to be good for your soul), and it improves your dance skills. 

Seriously, our fellow humans are confused. 38 percent of  poll respondents said that “would not buy Corona under any circumstances now”; 4 percent of respondents who usually drink Corona said they would stop drinking; 16 percent of respondents “were confused about whether Corona beer is related to the coronavirus.”   (head desk)


  • Italy following Japan’s lead and closing all schools.  Dude.  I would NOT be surprised if this trend, once our government, who has learned NOTHING from watching governments handle this terribly in the East, stops lying to us (this is the worst sentence EVER), continues here.  And it will be a mess! There is already a childcare shortage! The US will be a shit show if schools get closed. And I’m not fear mongering, I’m speaking as a parent. I mean, we CAN survive this virus (80% of people who become infected will only become mildly to moderately ill) but I’m not sure if we can survive ALL  STUDENTS home for a month like an extra Spring Break...Oh, spring break...that’ll be fun eh.  


  • No one agrees on anything. Hand sanitizer, masks, politics, the Democratic party’s strategy, wtf is in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction?  Are polar bear’s numbers up or down? Are you supposed to eat 20 small meals a day, or fast for 10 hours a day? At what age must one (hypothetically) stop wearing shimmery eye shadow? Should we drink vodka or beer?  I don’t know. No one knows! But here’s what I can tell you with a fair amount of confidence for success in life right now: Wash your hands and stop touching your face. Notice how many times a day you touch your face...you’ll be horrified and put baby mitts on your hands! 



Astrology this week

  • There’s a full moon in Virgo on Monday. I am hoping this shines some light on the coronavirus in some way and brings helpful information forward.  Possibly a new pocket of outbreak (beyond the daily news we already hear) will come to light. Pay attention between March 8-11ish

  • For us personally, we can utilize this moon for healing, not just our bodies, but our routine. Take some time Sunday, or any day around that moon, and think about your daily ritual. What could you tweak, eliminate, shift? Clean it up and declutter your day to day activities. Don’t add anything yet. Just clean.  Really meditate on what kind of routine would make you feel great and do what you can to move in that direction.  

    Furthermore, release what holds you back from achieving your higher purposes. What restrains your inner goddess? You may not consciously know what those things are. But the moon sees it and can shed light for you.

  • Also on March 9th, Mercury stations direct.  This makes things very wonky on the day of station. But after that, again being a pragmatic optimist, perhaps  institutions can be bolstered to deal better with Covid-19

  • I have good reason for optimism, because the sun sextiles Jupiter, which brings optimism. Neptune sextiles Mars, which is sexy and romantic (But wash your hands! Don’t kiss strangers!). But then, Pluto and the sun sextile (lots of sextiles!) which is a very determined energy.  So I hope that the PTB (powers that be) don’t flex too much about how “everything is fine. Its great. Its all very good. Just like a miracle, everything is great” etc, just as a way of pushing through propagandic thinking. Propagandic...is that a word??? Did I make that up?

  • it is a word! 


Cards of the Week


Sweary Spirituality I, Sweary Spirituality II, Traditional Tarot





It’s no coincidence that this week with a full moon in Virgo, asking you to release habits holding back the emergence of your inner Goddess, we also have International Women’s Day, during women’s history month, ending with Friday the 13th.  

This is badass...

13 is the goddess number, and represents the 13 lunar cycles in a year.  Friday is ruled by the goddess Freya, and Venus. This is not an unlucky day! This is a powerful day to feel into your witchy, goddess, badass bitch roots.  


These cards all point to release too just like the Monday moon (and mercury retrograde for that matter). Release your shame. Release your story so a new one can form.  Release yourself from the box you climbed in at the request of others.  Release yourself from the obligations others have imposed upon you. The hanged man is about surrender and suspension, metamorphosis, and the breaking of old patterns.  


Step in to who you truly are, and let go of what others have told you about yourself, or the story you cling to to avoid feeling unsafe.  


Have a badass week


In Love & Glitter,

Kelly

President & CEO of BitchCo.
Parent company of BitchSplaining, AmBitchous, BitchScopes
Blanket Fort, CA






Sunday, March 1, 2020

Weekly Bitch Memo



Let’s talk about fear, government, panic and some other light fluffy issues that are relevant. As we are all aware, the world is in a fair amount of chaos. There is political unrest in countries all over the world. The US is not at all unique in its fucked up state of affairs. Governments and religions and social structures are all being questioned, reformed, dismantled, reassembled. It is chaotic without question. In the US we have a very insular way of thinking. My friends in other parts of the world know what is going on here as well as they know what is going on in their own country. But here, we aren’t really great at that. We have a sort of Nationalism in our bones in the USA. We have been telling ourselves that we are the best there is since this country was founded. And for many decades, the US represented the best of what was available in the world. It still does in many ways. But the internet and our rapidly growing inter-connectedness has also taken the blinders off of us in many ways and we see other countries that are also doing a pretty damn good job in a way that looks not all that similar to the US. So we are realizing that there is more than one way to accomplish a goal, a greatness, prosperity and happiness. But that inter-connectedness has created insecurity where there was weakness or chinks in the armor. That insecurity is seen all over the world in governments that are scrambling and constantly reminding people who is in charge. It's as if the “industry” of politics and government has recognized the concept of “competition” and they are all fighting for market share. What a capitalist metaphor...its the milk I was raised on, like you.

So the world is a mess and there are protests and revolutions and scandals and reformations and resurgences of things that probably needed to stay down (the alt right, for example. Misogyny, as a triggered response to the uptick in awareness of women’s issues, racism…). This is the struggle for balance. When you get sick, your body creates a fever as a response to fight off and kill the infection. When nature is out of balance, it will fight to regain stasis.

Speaking of nature, and infections. Let’s chat about CoronaVirus. SO MUCH bullshit is circulating about this.

WORLDWIDE
As of today, March 1, there are 87,161 cases worldwide.
To date, there have been 3001 deaths
Over 2800 of the deaths have been in China

USA
In the US, there are 62 (not 22 as Trump stated in a press conference) cases.
In the US there has been 1 death.

MASKS
The Surgeon General of the United States tweeted “Seriously people, stop buying masks”. The response to this has been a mix of outrage and “Yeah! What he said!” As well as a lot of people annoyed by the lack of professional language by someone of one of the highest government offices. “Seriously, government officials, we, like, really miss professional communications and shit”

Anyway…. Some say a mask will not help you. Others insist it will. The maker of many such masks and a slew of other medical accessories, 3M, is doing really well right now. The question is, do you need a mask?

The answer seems to be “maybe. Not really. Whatever”.

TRANSMISSION
This virus is transmitted via droplets. It is NOT airborne. Aireborne transmission occurs when a virus is carried on tiny dust particles and floats around. They travel farther and are more easily inhaled in larger quantities. Droplet transmission requires transmission from fluid from a sneeze or cough. Yep, you’re inhaling tiny particles of spittle, infected with a virus. Yum. (There are worse ways to catch things...such as fecal transmission. EW. Covid-19 may also transmit that way) So in close proximity to other humans who are sneezing, coughing, or have cooties on their hands and are touching doorknobs etc, the virus is spreading rapidly. Personal space is important as the virus can only travel effectively about 6 feet. I’m a fan of this kind of space anyway!

There was some question about transmission between people and pets and this is generally being considered “unlikely”. Pets can get different types of corona viruses (there’s several and we’ve all had them, usually as a “cold”. This one, Covid-19, is just particularly assholey) but thus far it appears unlikely that we can infect them or they can infect us. They are still looking into it. In China, one dog has been quarantined because his nasal cavity tested “weak positive” for Covid-19. But again, thus far, it is not believed that pets can transmit to humans, or become a source of the virus.

BACK TO MASKS
So the best way to not get infected is to keep your distance, wash your hands like a freak, avoid touching your face, rubbing your eyes, picking your nose, touching your mouth, particularly in public when you haven’t washed your hands. Don’t pick your nose in public anyway, honestly!

I do think masks have a place in this scenario. Sure, they aren’t tight around your face so yeah, droplets could enter. But with your most dominant face holes (serious medical terminology) covered, the risk of inhaling the virus decreases significantly. If I was going to go into Walmart (which I won’t because empath problems), or an airport with a lot of international activity, I WOULD wear a mask. (Patrick and I disagree on this point and he is traveling through Dubai later this month.) If you don’t have a mask, I don’t think you need to panic. If you have a mask, I don’t think you need to wear it to go to the mailbox.

IMMUNE HEALTH
People with compromised immune systems are are higher risk. This virus basically is a gnarly assholey pneumonia. When it is treated in a timely manner, in a facility with proper equipment, its just a kickass respiratory illness that may knock you on your ass. It isn’t a death sentence. But it isn’t the average flu either.

Take your vitamin C. Take your echinacea. Use your Thieves oil or On Guard. Eat healthy. Whatever your personal routine is for immune health, do it.

OUTCOME
The common flu has a fatality rate of about 0.5%. Covid-19 is about 2-3%. Most of those deaths have been in compromised people, and in places where it was not treated fast enough, or with the respiratory equipment needed. The US has major health care problems, but we are not wanting for equipment in a way that is likely to create a problem here. Be vigilant and monitor your health. Act quickly and be demanding about being taken seriously. Advocate for yourself and your family like a bear.

The majority of the shit show from this virus is likely to be the impact on our every day lives, the economy, and things like that. Japan CLOSED all schools for 30 days. Can you imagine? Well we should imagine because it COULD happen. Saudi Arabia CANCELLED Muslim pilgrimages to Mecca. Sporting events are being held with NO crowds. Events are being cancelled all over the world. The conveniences and freedom we enjoy could be impacted. But we don’t need to panic. We need to try to be calm and go about our lives. When we need to panic, I’ll be sure to blog to let you know ...heehee.

At the crux of this bullshit is the ever present truth - we are all in this together. All Americans. All countries. All humans. We are all connected. What affects them affects us. What affects you affects me. Stay in a place of compassion as much as possible. But also, stay grounded. Be practical. Use your noggin. Get your facts.

(For the record, my statistics are from the World Health Organization website, the CDC, and BBC.)

FEAR
Fear is a basic human response to danger. Your ancient, reptilian brain senses anything that is different as a potential threat. It used to be dinosaurs and snakes and warring tribes. Now its traffic, and internet news, the stock market, and the new guy at work. Fear is normal. It exists for a reason. But fear is also cultivated by people in power and authority, and that is intentional. That is 1000% intentional. When we are afraid, we are vulnerable. They have our attention. And they control us this way. This is not me spewing conspiracy theory. This is psychological fact. When the military or the police interrogate people, they make them afraid, without actually doing significant physical harm. And in doing so, they illicit a response, confession, etc. We do this to our partners when we want to manipulate them. We do this to our children to control their behavior! It is basic human psychology of manipulation 101. When fear is cultivated, we are at their mercy. Try to recognize where your fear is coming from. Is it yours, or is it something someone told you you should feel?

We can’t be complacent and cavalier and overly fluffy about life these days. But we can’t be panicked cockroaches when the lights come on either. Use your beautiful brain for good.

ASTROLOGY
In other news, Mercury will back into Aquarius this week and I think that energy will bolster the systems that we need to be functioning properly right now. Then it goes direct on March 9th. That same day, we have a full moon in Virgo. Virgo, which rules the body, illness, habits, service.  There will definitely be some information highlighted about this virus around this time. 

March does feel a bit more genteel as I look at the transits. Mercury in Aquarius can really get things moving in the right direction, and then Saturn moves in to Aquarius as well and the timing is great. Saturn will get the ducks in a row with our social structures, and get rid of ones that don't work for the highest good.  We're about to enter Aries season as well, so things are going to get done, no question. I also am holding a space for the new moon in Pisces at the end of March to bring some closure to things, and to show us what we need to plant and intend to thrive in April.  

We ARE making progress.  

Be fierce. Be loving.  Be kind.  Be a bitch.  Be unapologetic.  Be all of those things are more.  

Be Well.

In Love & Glitter,


Kelly

President & CEO of BitchCo.
Parent company of BitchSplaining, AmBitchous, BitchScopes
Blanket Fort, CA


Sunday, February 23, 2020

Piscean dream life

As I’ve shared many times, my dream recall is low. And I prefer it that way. 
The last week I’ve had many dreams. The only change is mercury rx in pisces. I haven’t changed any of my routine, eating, meds etc. 
first dream I  recall was early this week...

Nicholas cage was in a restaurant, at a buffet.  I was passing by and he was struggling with plates so I helped him.  But as I was holding this plate he started examining the sandwich on it.  It was held close to my body because I was holding other things too. He squinted and asked  “what is that between the lettuce and turkey??”
“Um, my cleavage”
“Oh haha I’m so sorry.  I meant the aioli.  Which is now also on your...um”
I looked down to find pesto aioli on my shirt.  We laughed. He thanked me and apologized and that was that 

Another night:
Dreamed my car and my purse got stolen.  I’d left the keys in my purse, in the car. But without my phone I couldn’t contact anyone. I was despondent.  I ended up in a city I didn’t know in a stranger’s house.  Patrick was mad at me.  But at some point there was sex In this dream and I was worried because I hadn’t shaved.  

Last night: 
I dreamed there was one of those giant flying fox bat creatures in my backyard.  Someone from Star Wars (I have been watching Mandalorian) was with us, and said “there’s a bat coming.  Look”. And at that moment the flying fox landed on the fence. We were completely enamored of this thing.  It let us hold it.  It had very cute paws and in the dream I kept saying it looked like “Dobby the elf” feet.  (I have not watched Harry Potter recently...)  we ooh’d and Coo’d over this animal and that was it.